i thought i’m mostly over the stage contemplating life’s ambivalence all the time. but this thread has gotten me sentimental again. life’s so sad sometimes – no simple right or wrong can describe it. i typed this on that thread.

here’s an extreme case and it’s a true story. i wish i have the original version but i will try to describe this as best as i can.

ling is a doctor in china before the cultural revolution (CR) started. she has been awarded the best doctor in her community for many times. when the CR started in china, the red guards went to her house where she and her parents resided. the red guards dragged out her dad who was a famous painter and had his art works displayed in america. they found the receipt her father had from the american museum and called him a spy. they started beating him as well as her and her mom. they broke everything in the house and took them outside to the streets. marched them around with them wearing tall white paper hats with their names written under a red cross. with heavy banners hanging around their necks with very thin wires. after a day of torture, they were bruised and had blood all over their bodies. they were not allowed to eat. everything in their house had been destroyed. electricity and gas had been cut off. perhaps to prevent them from suiciding. it was very obvious tomorrow they would be dragged out for more humiliation and torture. at this time, they found a small knife which the red guards had left due to carelessness. all they wanted was to die and to break free from the torture they could not bear. ling is a doctor, she knows exactly where to cut would kill a person instantly. her mom said: how lucky we are to have a doctor daughter to help us to die.

is suicide morally wrong in this case?

Hey! I didn’t do too bad either! I got:

Comp II: A
MacroEconomics: A-
Guitar: A
Forms of Lit. Fiction: A
Calculus I: B

Oh yeah, here’s a great one:

Sunday night, Dodo and I were just about to go for a walk when my brother and his girlfriend knock on the door and ask if we want to go minigolf. We decide to go.

All of the minigolf were closed, so we ended up driving downtown. As we approached a stoplight, there was a red car to our left that had four teenagers, two boys and two girls. They had to be around 16 years old.

I looked over, and the driver was looking at me. I held his stare (as I have seasoned blood for staredowns) and the punk tells me to my face,

“You have a staring problem!”

I promptly responded with my middle finger and an explicit retort.

At this point, the teenagers break into a power trip, proclaiming how they were going to kick my ass and everything else. They were following my car and honking and driving crazily. The following continued for quite some blocks, and we came to a bridge where I was going to turn and they planned to go straight.

The punks pulled alongside my car with their feeble cussing and challenges. I told them if they wanted to fight so badly they could follow us some more. They were laughing and yelling, so my brother responded in perfect dramatic eloquence:

He flapped his arms like chicken wings and exclaimed, “Bawk, bawk, bawk!”

They became frustrated and sped their piece of crap car off as fast as they could, and we proceeded on our way to McDonalds for some ice cream cones.

Sure enough as we were getting out of the car at McDonalds, the punks were honking their horn and yelling again. I told Dodo and my brother’s girlfriend to go call the police inside, and that my brother and I would handle the scrubs.

Once again my brother erupted in perfect stagemanship yelling: “Get your ass over here you little *****!” and jumping and throwing his hat to the ground. Now the thing to understand is that my brother is a gargantuan individual. The sheer size of him was enough to turn the faces of the punks cold, but then his un-mediated rage surging directly at them with a scream at the top of his lungs caused the punks to turn absolutely pale.

Undefeated, though, they came back again into the parking lot and were honking their horn at us. My brother and I were standing alone outside our car waiting for them, but the would not even dare to pull their car within 50 feet of us. The cowards would only yell and honk their horn.

Once they got wind that the police were coming, they ran off. But this little event was certainly unexpected entertainment for the night!!

period always gives you crap. i don’t feel like doing anything today ;_; maybe i really need a break sigh… we went to godfathers for pizza today with andy’s brother and his gf. i was so full. i still feel my stomach stuffed ;_; it’s not a happy feeling. i might walk all the way to kfc later when it closes to see andy. when i am melancholy, i feel rather attached to him i just want to be in his arms 24/7 such a baby. when i think i will be away from him for a WHOLE MONTH soon.. i just want to cry ;_;

the popup killer is the most ingenuin software ever. if you use pure essence webmail, i’d recommend you install that first =) it’s just awesome! i downloaded some songs from celine’s new album “A New Day Has Come”. most of them are pretty good. “Amazing Grace” sounds like a chinese song i know? did they rip it off? i guess it’s fair since those taiwan pop singers ripped off so many english songs.

i hate american hospitals. they always make you WAIT forever! if doctors in overpopulated china take this long, the patients will probably die waiting! i swear we waited for two and half hours just for a job that could be done in 10 minutes today. they did come and did it at the end. it took 5 minutes.

my father broke his leg last week. he finally was convinced by his boss to see a doctor. the appointment was today 10:45, they looked and took x-ray, found a half inch fracture on his lower leg bone under the knee cap. we thought they were gonna put a cast for him, they only ended up putting a brace.

we didn’t get home until 3pm!!

tired tired tired.. hospitals are NOT FUN!