Comments on: postive or negative teaching?

By: navi

navi — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 17:57:32 +0000

i don’t have children, but i have raised my siblings as my own. i think too many compliments make someone stuck up. i did not want my siblings to be that way, so whenever they did good, i would give them a good natured ribbing. for example:
“i had the best grade on the test,” and i would say “great, that shows that you’re at least smarter than 25 other people on this planet. good for you.” and they would look at me and smile. once, while in line in the supermarket i said “i keep telling you, you’re not smart. it’s the rest of the world that’s stupid. you’re just average.” and the people in line laughed, along with my brothers, they’re used to my responses.
i WILL give compliments on extraordinary behavior. for instance, telling on someone who was doing drugs in the bathroom. this was done even though my brother was quite certain he would probably get beat up because of it. THAT merited praise.

By: Miki

Miki — Wed, 26 Feb 2003 23:41:27 +0000

How about a combination of the 2? Negative when a child does something undesirable, but positive when they do something good?

By: Christine

Christine — Wed, 26 Feb 2003 08:27:39 +0000

I know what you meant. It would be really weird if I get too much compliments from my mom or dad. I mean, I can get straight A’s for my exam and they would just say, ‘you get 8 A’s? How many people get 8 A’s also?? 11?? So many??’
Makes you feel, insignificant. Anyway, Since I’m from a multiracial country where the cultures have blended very well aming one another, it doesn’t happen that obviously. Teachers nowadays are more encouraging towards the students because this can help motivate them to work harder.

By: ~*melody

~*melody — Wed, 26 Feb 2003 07:28:53 +0000

Meaningless comments don’t exactly spoil you, but they can make you stuck up. Negative comments are good in a sense that they spur you to do better.

I grow up in Singapore, and they mix the two cultures together. It’s very disgusting to me when you hear someone complimenting your friend, when you have done better than her.

Of course, too much negative comments can also spoil a child’s pride. So I guess it’s a good thing to have a good mixture of positive and negative comments

By: ecila

ecila — Tue, 25 Feb 2003 23:36:15 +0000

i hear you dodo

and ahhh, if “I’M” ever going to be a parent (har har har….)… i’ll prb do the same as you, well, i can picture myself spoling my child. I just hope i never treat him/her like i was treated. I want to reconize ever change of a good effort, even if a not so good result. Mainly because i feel that the child can go one way or another with a negative comment… either don’t try again, or try even harder.

So i really don’t know what i’ll really do. I just would want my child to feel happy once they’ve done some they’ve worked hard at. Of course i would try not to lie to my child about their abilities, or make this achievments seem meaningless with good comments all the time.

But i know what you mean about the positive teaching thing…. a little while ago my sister got home a newsletter from school, one of the pages a list of things to say to a child after they’ve done something good to make them feel good. A whole list of good jobs, wonderful, etc, etc. Hahah..

so i don’t know. But it’s interesting to study the two differences. And their possible results, effects, and actual numbres when it comes to marks, and grades. *shrug*

By: elizabeth

elizabeth — Tue, 25 Feb 2003 23:32:35 +0000

*receive er. spelling error.

By: elizabeth

elizabeth — Tue, 25 Feb 2003 23:31:48 +0000

Same here. Though I am used to it in the American school system since I have been here for 15 years. [teachers tell you anything to make you feel good, at least in VA] My parents on the other hand are completely different. If you did nothing to recieve such a compliment, then you will never hear it. They want things perfect, and exactly how they see fit.

By: Yvette

Yvette — Tue, 25 Feb 2003 18:19:27 +0000

I’m not Chinese, but I feel like I know what you mean. I hated meaningless compliments, awards for ‘participation.’ and stuff like that.