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My parents taught me
January 19th, 2007
1. My parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My parents taught me RELIGION .
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My parents taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My parents taught me MORE LOGIC
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My parents taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. My parents taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. My parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My parents taught me about WEATHER .
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12 My parents taught me about HYPOCRISY .
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. My parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!”
14. My parents taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. My parents taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My parents taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. My parents taught me about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. My parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
19. My parents taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you’re cold”
20. My parents taught me HUMOR .
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My parents taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
23. My parents taught me about my ROOTS .
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn”
24. My parents taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
25. My parents taught me about JUSTICE .
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”
A new way of array checking in PHP
January 10th, 2007
i just saw the funniest thing in PHP yet! below is taken from here.
This code is lifted from a socket handling class that I’ve been asked to work on today. Prepare to cringe:
if (eregi('Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /usr/cvs/projects/13xx/1371/Classes/XML/XML_inc.php on line 392',$v[0])) { return false; }
It’s worth noting that the foreach() statement will move from line 392 with so much as a return key (as it did today?). It’s also worth noting that the path information is gloriously hard-coded. This was deemed dailywtf worthy in the office, and as such I present it to you now.
Happy Wednesday 
geeky t-shirts
February 18th, 2006
i’m browsing online geeky t-shirt stores out of boredom.
here are some of the entertaining ones i’ve seen:
heard another here i like:
“SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
0 rows returned”
you know you are chinese when…
December 10th, 2004
if you are chinese, take a look at this list - i’m too lazy to copy them all. i just wrote down the ones apply to me. some of them are unique only to chinese i think or asians
Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. - actually just the bowls for the burner
You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. - i thought it was a great idea. don’t you?
You use grocery bags to hold garbage. - what’s wrong with that?
You always leave your shoes at the door.
You twirl your pen around your fingers.
Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself. - LOL but in my case, it’s true. my dad is a very good electrocian and handy man.
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
You’re a wok user.
You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions. - well OF COURSE! no language is more beautiful than chinese.
Your parents never go to the movies.
You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don’t eat the last piece of food on the table. - well the first part is true for me most of the time. coz we all taught how hard it was for the farmers to plant crops when we were small
Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
You have more than five remotes in your house. - who doesn’t these days?
You’ve worn glasses at least since the fifth grade. - yea 5th grade i was still in china. and the intense studying for upcoming middle school exam pretty much destroyed my vision. we serious studied 10 hours a day in school plus 4 hours of homework. i can’t believe i survived it.
You drive around looking for the cheapest gas. - which reminds me this one time when we met a friend of andy’s at a cheaper gas station. we asked if he came to get cheap gas. he went oh is the gas here cheap? i just get gas.
You always have water when dining out. - most of the time. i hate how they over charge you so much on other drinks. wtf?
You hate eating cheese. - wow how do you know? esp. parmezang (or however you spell that)
You cut your own hair or had someone in your family do it. - i would if i could. most those who have the ability moved away from me WOAH ;_; but i cut my dad and andy’s hair
You only have to shave every other day - actually i don’t ever shave coz my hair is just too short and thin to be noticed. i pluck my armpits tho.
Your parents grow vegetables in a garden. - my dad’s new joy in life after they bought the house.
You are proud of being a Chinese.
