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fun of the day
June 12th, 2002
today’s mostly boring.. but there are a couple of good moments. i installed aim for my dad couple days ago.. here’s our conversation:
Yesterday
dad: zhang ying I want to try this program. that can’t use return????
me: you hit return, then the message will be posted. why you need return otherwise?
dad: I would use it like normal writting. it looks work right now! wondful, wondful. bye. bye
me: wonderful!!
me: not wondful >:o
dad: you are right, ye! you can correct my writting. thank you!
me: :-)
me: what are you doing?!
dad: I’m reading chinese news in sina sit. what are you doing?
me: i’m visiting my board
dad: thank you!
me: for what?
dad: for corect my mistakes
me: oh ok
Today
dad: OK
me: why you wait like forever to reply a message?
dad: what’s your mean?
me: what was that “OK” for?
dad: that means I know
me: you know what?
dad: The instant message shows you singed off at 18:52:19
me: oh i see.. that’s automatic! not by me.. but by the server.. you don’t have to reply to that
me: i thought you were replying to a message a long long time ago
dad: Ok! I kown
then i showed daynah this picture and daynah showed Al. Al consequently said he doesn’t want any pets. I got to talk to Al for the first time:
me: daynah said you don’t want pets? LOL
Al: nah.. too much work hehe
Al: my brother has a dog, bird, 2 aquariums
Al: and im stuck taking care of it for 2 weeks :-(
me: arr.. but pets do work for you too… like clean your child’s mouth
Al: hahaha
HEATWAVE!
June 1st, 2002
The other night, I came home from a nasty hot night of work. I had turned on the AC until I fell asleep. Sometime afterward, Dodo turned it off before she went to sleep.
At about 3am, I woke up with sweat just dripping off of me. I felt like I had to throw up. I crawled out of bed and lurched through the apartment to the thermostat. My vision was swimming around and I felt dizzy and nauseated with drops of sweat falling off of my body.
I am not sure of the exact temp, but the thermometer was definitely around 90+ degrees when I turned the AC back on. I stumbled into the kitchen in vertigo and opened the refrigerator to get some cold air. I reached for something to drink but could not stand up long enough without feeling like I had to puke.
I spent the next ten minutes laying on the cold tile floor in the kitchen trying to make my head stop spinning and eventually got something to drink and was ok to go back to bed. At this point I noticed that there were raw biscuits laying on the floor in the dining room. I saw a cardboard pop-open can of biscuits that I had bought laying on the floor, and sure enough, the apartment had gotten so damn hot the thing blew its biscuits all over. One even made it about 4 feet away into an empty coca-cola box!
Needless to say I got the point across to Dodo NOT to turn off the AC during the summer. If I had not woken up, I do not want to think about what might have happened to us.
andy’s wonderful fishing trip
May 26th, 2002
Yumm.. we went fishing. it was andy’s impluse. he heard k-mart’s fishing equipments were on sale, so he bought all the stuff last nite and was determined to go today. it seems the luck was not on his way but he never gave up. after three hours of getting our hooks caught in the rocks and losing them along with sinkers, he decided to try his luck at a beach. Is there anyone who fishes on the beach? my first time witness such a weird scene altho not my first time witness his stubbornness. people’s boats were flying by us, boy, did we catch a big finish LOL! he finally gave up after another hour wasted. at least we took some good pictures and it was a FINE day!
andy’s busy cooking now. he got some great recipes off internet while i was taking a nap. cooking craze is like a steak, beef stew, and one pound salmon. gives us excuse to take a long walk afterwards =)
btw, if you haven’t noticed, there’s a new “nite” theme for this site!
good friday
March 29th, 2002
good friday?! i’m not religious so it’s no different from any other fridays for me.
kozzi’s got her tote bag. ISN’T it cuuuute?! OMG she and her bag are so adorable =) i saw couple very cute drawings on my oekaki today, such as Fleye’s Guitar Playing Dog. andy found a funny priest joke last nite:
THE NEW PRIEST
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
So the next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At thebeginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took adrink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don’t gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
10.We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11.When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and eat it, for it is my body”, he did not say, “Eat me.”
12.The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, “Mary with the Cherry”.
13.The recommended grace before a meal is not: “Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God”. and finally…
14.Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.Peter’s, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
we are going to play a new game soulbringer now =)
cars & truck
March 29th, 2002
i really like this thing carly found.
What Car Names Really Mean
ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
AMC -Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW -Break My Windshield
BUICK -Big Ugly Import Car Killer
CHEVROLET -Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
DODGE -Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
FIAT -Fix It Again Tony
FORD -First On Recall Day
FORD -Fix Or Repair Daily
GEO -Good Engineering Overlooked
G. M. -General Maintenance
G. M. -Goshdarn Mess
GMC -Gets Mechanics Crazy
HONDA -Had One, Never Do-that Again
HONDA -Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
HYUNDAI -How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
IROC -I Reek Of Cologne
JEEP -Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
LTD -Last Try from Detroit
MAZDA -My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
MERCEDES -Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans
M.G. -Money Guzzler
MITSUBISHI -Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete
MOPAR -Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
MUSTANG -Men Usually Stand Together And Never Go
NISSAN -Nine Idiots Standing, Saying Absolutely Nothing
OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.
PINTO -Put In Nickel To Operate
PONTIAC -Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It’s A Cadillac
PORSCHE -Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB -Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
TOYOTA -Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO -Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW -Virtually Worthless
haha, i just saw the funnist advertisement on a beer truck. it says “we all make a difference, beerresponsible.com” or it could be read as “we all make a difference, beirreponsible.com” LOL
no offense, just thought it was funny.
OMG, those eassys
February 17th, 2002
i finished my book report. it turned out to be 6 pages long. i didn’t realize i was typing with only 1.5 space instead of double space until i asked andy to proofread. i just mumbled some and andy said it was fine. i was a little worried about it until andy pulled out the two essays he has to critique. they are from his peers in his Composition II class in the community college. Those essays are just disasters. they made me laugh so hard, my tommy hurt bad afterwards.
the assignment is to analyze two opposing views on death penalty with a neutral tone. andy let me read his first. his paper past the group critique the very first time so he actually is getting extra credit for his paper.
here are his classmates’. i selected some great lines by those people. please remember these are college students.
- The things he has to do day in and day out and the things that happen to him everyday, will haunt him for the rest of his life. As to being put to death, this only lasts a few seconds.
- In other words they are not paying their soldiers enough and that the soldiers are not soldiering like they should be.
- The author is showing a little bit of pathos here but only for a moment because he wants you to see the logos of his argument which is that if criminals are not afraid of being hung then let us starve them or pull their limbs apart.
- His purpose is that he believes that putting a person to death is wrong, we should put them to work instead.
- For people who have nothing to live for and the grave is the safest place for them then we should put them to death and make it as painful as possible.
- The purpose the author is trying to make is that by keeping the death penalty a very real threat is the only way to stop people from committing crimes.
my confident on my book report grew dramatically after I read them.
woo!! new layout at new millennium. thank to manda for telling me about Ulead 3D. i downloaded it from morpheus and experienced around =)
andy’s dream
December 7th, 2001
andy always has weirdest dream but the one he told me this morning is especially bizarre.
he said he dreamt i gave birth to our baby except it wasn’t a human baby, it was a skeleton covered in a cocoon. we have to take it to the middle of a river to help it hibernate. and then finlly you see the muscles start to grow on the skeleton. one day i picked up the baby and called “andy” then he heard “meow”. our baby turned into a cat!
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!
i dont know, i just thought it was so funny. i can’t understand how people can have such bizarre dreams. i never remember mine 
jokes
November 19th, 2001
kinkstar has a new layout! it’s gorgeous! i’ve been reading jokes there… rotf!
DUMB ADS:
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.
Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too..
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
Great Dames for sale.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
=
good jokes for a bored monring. today is supposed to be easy. but i dont feel like doing anything. i didn’t even go to lunch. i wish andy would get my email on time so we can go out and eat. have you been using yahoo mail lately? it’s unbelievably slow. i can’t believe it. it takes about 50 seconds to load everything on my browser. my hosting company agreed to move me to a different server today. but i still have to cut down my bandwidth. i email many of my hostees asking them to find a new host. i do want to still host a few close friends like diana & bunnywunny. i feel bad since i am not even close to my other hostees. sigh…
arr.. i’m hungry, andy better show up soon or i will have to go alone ><
microsoft built cars
September 21st, 2001
When Bill Gates went to a conference one time, he said that if the auto industry is as fast as the computer industry, we can all buy $25 cars that would run 1000 miles with half a gallon of gas. And General Motors said “Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?”
here are more statements made by GM
IF MICROSOFT BUILT CARS….
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occosionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
4. You could only have on person in the car at a time, unless you bought “Car2000″ or “CarNT”. But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5 percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by single “general car default” warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say “are you sure?” before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
****
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion “Why don’t close all the windows, get out, get back in, then open the windows again, and maybe it’ll work!?”
