My father and his girlfriend’s family visited Gui Lin about a month ago.

Although the scenery was exceptional like you’d expect but his experience was far from it. Gui Lin is a cyclone for tourist traps. He shared some of his bad experience and they were so jaw dropping, I have to blog about them.

The Taxi
There is no meter on any of the taxi in that city. You bargain the price prior to your ride with the taxi driver and then s/he takes you to your destination. See a problem with this particular arrangement or lack of governmental enforcement of honesty? Well, he’s experienced it.

On the way back from a previous trip, my father inquired the average cab fare from his hotel to the dock for his next day’s cruise. The driver indicated around 60 rmb. The next morning, a different taxi driver wanted 80 rmb for the ride. My father did not give in since he thought the fare should be 60 rmb. The taxi driver instead of not agreeing to the ride, took the 60 rmb and dropped them off at a different dock than their actual desired destination. It took them a while to figure out they were at the WRONG dock since they were unfamiliar with the area. They were late for their cruise and had to spend additional fare in order to travel to the correct dock.

The Bamboo Raft Ride
A bamboo raft takes you down the stream of the river slowly by its current. My father had arranged a taxi to pick them up at the end of the trip. Although the price of the ride was advertised to include food, they provided inedible dishes on the raft so they could market other dishes for extra cost. There were various vendors who stationed at different locations down the stream. Some claimed the fish dishes were prepared with fish freshly caught in the river earlier in the morning. They charged a lot for them. My father and his girlfriend’s family did not purchase any. They were later dropped off at a dock in which they thought was the end of the trip. However, after a half hour wait for the taxi, my father called the taxi driver he paid for. The taxi driver informed my dad that he was dropped at the wrong location. The raft people dropped them off way prior to the end of the trip. My father was once more duped for exercising his right of not purchasing overpriced marketed tourist goods.

Gui Lin has been on my list of must visit places for a long time. Based on my dad’s accounts, I think I’m going to wait a little longer for that wish.

小时候上语文课要背许多古诗。大多数是唐诗。前几年回国我特地买了一本《唐诗三百首》以为会学一些新诗。其实脑子里有印象的诗还是小时候讨厌背的东西。记忆最深的是这首白居易的《花非花》。这首诗对我来说很特别。它不是语文老师而是音乐老师教的。教它的目的是为了让我们学为这首诗写的歌。教之前老师让我们闭上眼睛，在我们脑海里打造了这首诗的弥朦境界。那时的我可能只有小学三年级。但我被催幻了被打动了。我仿佛真的进入了诗人的世外桃源。我想那是我对诗词的情窦初开吧。

IVA – Individual Voluntary Agreement
IVA provides a viable alternative to bankruptcy and is therefore for those individuals that really cannot afford to pay off existing debts any longer. An IVA can help because it is a proposal that is sent to all of an individual?s creditors offering a settlement over a period of five years or so. After that period, the debt is settled. However, there are certain criteria that your proposal has to meet before coming in to being!

For each plastic bag wasted, please pay two dollars.

Please ask for assistance.

To keep the restroom clean, please put trash in the trash can.

(This one is actually from Japan but it’s a classic.)

Temporary parking for unloading.

Handicapped.

Main entrance. (No sure how that came about.)

(No idea about this one.)

No cycling or skating. No soccer.

Eight Treasures.

(I guess at least it’s short and to the point.)

Self serving terminal.

(Really “Thunder” will be a good enough translation for this firework.)

Warm milk. (In Chinese the word for “Milk” and “Breast” is the same.)

Automatic flush.

Do not feed the fish with your own food.

Chinglish explained and more Chinglish.

Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. – actually just the bowls for the burner

You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. – i thought it was a great idea. don’t you?

You use grocery bags to hold garbage. – what’s wrong with that?

You always leave your shoes at the door.

You twirl your pen around your fingers.

Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself. – LOL but in my case, it’s true. my dad is a very good electrocian and handy man.

You beat eggs with chopsticks.

You’re a wok user.

You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions. – well OF COURSE! no language is more beautiful than chinese.

Your parents never go to the movies.

You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don’t eat the last piece of food on the table. – well the first part is true for me most of the time. coz we all taught how hard it was for the farmers to plant crops when we were small

Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

You love Chinese Martial Arts films.

You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.

You have more than five remotes in your house. – who doesn’t these days?

You’ve worn glasses at least since the fifth grade. – yea 5th grade i was still in china. and the intense studying for upcoming middle school exam pretty much destroyed my vision. we serious studied 10 hours a day in school plus 4 hours of homework. i can’t believe i survived it.

You drive around looking for the cheapest gas. – which reminds me this one time when we met a friend of andy’s at a cheaper gas station. we asked if he came to get cheap gas. he went oh is the gas here cheap? i just get gas.

You always have water when dining out. – most of the time. i hate how they over charge you so much on other drinks. wtf?

You hate eating cheese. – wow how do you know? esp. parmezang (or however you spell that)

You cut your own hair or had someone in your family do it. – i would if i could. most those who have the ability moved away from me WOAH ;_; but i cut my dad and andy’s hair

You only have to shave every other day – actually i don’t ever shave coz my hair is just too short and thin to be noticed. i pluck my armpits tho.

Your parents grow vegetables in a garden. – my dad’s new joy in life after they bought the house.

You are proud of being a Chinese.