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miss something?
October 8th, 2001
i was away from computer all weekend? at least it feels like so..
last nite my mom decided to use some kind aggressive tactic.. she turned up the TV in the living room at midnite and kept andy up for a long time and woke me up. but i was too tired to be kept up. andy told he didn’t fall asleep til 1 or so tho. this morning my dad told me my mom was yelling at him at 3am also.. this is actually quite of a typical act of my mom. she’s done it before and she will do that in the future. my dad overheard her calling my god sister julia and telling her how we (implying andy and i) are troubling her so she can’t concentrate on her test. oh what a loser! of course there is no more about her would suprise me any more.
i got 103 out of 108 on my discrete structure exam. i’m very mad. reasons being we were allowed to cross out one problem out of ten on the test. and i crossed out the one i got right and lost some points on the ones i didn’t cross out. oh well.. guess i can live with my score altho i’m still pissed by it.
cs new project.. probably will get a head start tomorrow altho i don’t yet know where to begin *sticks out tongue*
i’m bored… so i’m heading to the bed.
cs exam
October 5th, 2001
cs exam is so much easier than i expected. no more true false questions yay!!! just code… that’s all.. first three problems are tracing and the last three are writing codes. what’s how a cs exam suppose to be like.. i still can’t believe i got a B+ last year.. it certainly didn’t accurately measure my programming ability. i love to code so much.. what killed me last semester was those stupid true false questions which made no sense to me. and all the projects last semester was only 25% of the overall grade which was so not fair!
oh well hopefully i did good on my exam..
plugging today my sister bobbi!
bleh
October 4th, 2001
i feel so tired.. my mom always chooses a time when andy’s not home to *****… she was yelling at my dad this morning again.. so it woke up at 7… now i feel so sleepy.. she continues to talk when i got up. i hate that! i just wish she can leave me alone. i don’t care what she says… nothing comes out of her mouth make any sense. but unfortunately i had to hear them arrrrr >< she’s saying how it was all because of my dad that i don’t like her. he was the one who told me she hit my grandma… DUH, why doesn’t she once blame her own self for wrong doing??! grrrrr… i’m so annoyed… i just hope she would vanish forever!!!!
exam in an hour
October 3rd, 2001
i will have discrete structure exam in an hour.
just discovered this girl is being such a stupid copykat of jacy. grr.. how dumb can you possibly get? you wanna help her understand what’s copyright?
exam week
October 1st, 2001
this week i have cs exam on wednesday and discrete structure on friday. i will probably dedicate a lot of time on the exams to make sure i get A on both. plus i got another web design job. and i’m trying to write out a price guide line for it. so you probably won’t see me around too often >< my mom is still in war so i need to stay at school to study.. poor me.. anywayz.. wish me luck =)
Spaghetti
September 29th, 2001
do you like Spaghetti? last nite both andy and i were exhausted by the time we got home. i only had some popcorns and coke from the homecoming events and andy had nothin.. but he first played a game of starcraft online with his co-worker.. then he told he’s starving and we decided to make Spaghetti. it was delicious… hahaha.. probably because we were both so hungry.. you like Spaghetti? 
calling daynah
September 28th, 2001
last nite i finally talked to daynah on the phone for the first time… wow how sweet.. actually she surprised with her voice. when she picked up the phone i thought it was al’s younger sister or something.. sound like a 9 y-o LOL we talked for an hour? we talked a lot.. i know andy really surprised her with his deep voice.. yup, that’s andy’s real voice, believe or not..
my mom decided to keep up the war with us. last nite she sticked a note on our door to ask us move out. this morning with a more detailed one telling us to move out by new year… haha good, now we have evidence, she can’t ask us to go any sooner.. and we certainly gonna use this time to formulate good plans against her.
anyway i suppose to call my dad today since i wont have rides from bus due to the homecoming here.. see catch me up later =)
trying to be normal
September 27th, 2001
i’m trying to go back to normal. last nite i had such fun sharing my webcam with daynah until andy got home and then we had start our business. we went our tenat to ask her to pay half my dad each month. there’s no doubt that my mom will set off for a huge fight when she finds it out. but then what else can we do? my mom is unreasonable person. she doesn’t reason with you. all she does is fight to get whatever she wants… everyone knows that.
thank god andy and i are going to his mom for dinner tonite. so i wont have to face my mom today during her day off. actually no one wants. my dad was asking us to go out for dinner if my mom’s home today. i woke up this morning a little late.. i hear her slamming doors around. i got out of the house to the bus stop as fast i possibly can.
anyway.. i’m probably gonna call daynah on the phone today.. so excited about that =) wouldn’t that be so very sweet!
later
September 26th, 2001
andy came home later saw me crying and reading the entry i was typing he quickly figured out why. he was very upset about that.. he’s seen my mom done this many times before. there is no doubt in his mind that my mom has been mentally and emotionally abusing me for at least the past year. he actually went to the police department after work to find out if there’s any law we can use to stop my mom from doing stuff like this. unfortunately he found out there’s no way to ask my mom leave the house unless my father divorce her.. and we know that unless my father wants to go to court, there’s no way my mom would consent to that… so to have peace the only way is we move out… before dinner last nite my father, andy and i are formulating the best way to do that now.. and we had a good plan by dinner.. we will start slowly tho making sure things turn out the best… sigh…
thank you for everyone’s note.. esp. vera & daynahi’m mostly fine. still have a bit depressed feelings here and there… but i will be strong.
my mom’s crazy
September 25th, 2001
i really hate my mom.. it’s not that i should let her get in my way, she’s just always everywhere… like always… it’s about money.. she only cares about money i swear.. she’s so ridiculous >< i don’t understand!!!!!!!!!! she always makes me cry. i didn’t cry too much today tho.. not like last time.. i just feel crying for her is so meaningless and i hate myself doing that.
she’s been asking my dad to pay for the mortgage for the house without sharing any of the tenat rent with him. that’s just plain not fair. and last weekend, my dad, andy and i have already talked and decided to set up a date to talk to the tenat to remake a contract with her so she can pay both of my parents since my mom is such a *****. she came in this morning waking me up because andy turned on heater these days so i don’t get worse on my cold. and she doesn’t want to pay extra for the heater and asked me what kind of cold i have. she’s willing to buy medicine or a small electric heater in my room but not the extra money in heating the house. all she cares is money.. she only comes to ask me my health due to money. that just hurts me… it really does.. i mean it doesn’t surprise me or anything.. by moving out two times in the past few years, i don’t ever want to expect any kindness or motherly like features in her.. but still everytime i converse with her i get so mad and hurt. i don’t understand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she’s asking me to move out again… the old things replay themselves. i was crying… coz i just don’t understand how can she do things like this.
i told her i understand that my father wants to keep money for himself because he doesn’t want to spent his rest of life with her. my father has always planning to go back to china when he retires.. guess what my mom says? she said she’s planning for the same thing and that’s why she thinks he should pay for everything. i asked: why you tried so hard not to get a divorce with him during so many attempts that my father started? what’s the point? she said she just doesn’t want trouble. TROUBLE??! what’s trouble, fighting everyday or just get it taken care once. of course deep inside i know why.. because she still relies on him to get her greencard that time. she will lose the thing she wants most if she agreed to divorce. and she still wants to show that this is a family on the surface. WHY WHY WHY WHY???!!!!!!!!!!!!! i don’t understand. it’s not like she cares… she still thinks i will not have a life any better then she does. she contantsly tells me: you will do the same thing in the future and once you will see why i’m doing this. NO WAY IN A MILLION MILLION YEARS would i ever be able to understand her. i just hate her.. hate her selfishness and coldness. i don’t know why she’s my mom. she doesn’t care about me.. only her money. she only talks me when i’m using too much of her money. god **** she’s not paying a penny for my college.. i pays mostly myself by working 20 hours a week and my dad helps. and she says that’s because my dad should be responsible 50% of my cost as a parent. I was like, 50% or 100%? she was like what about all the bills i pay?! it’s not much less than his mortgage payment. all she cares is money…….. she took the $1000 check my father sent to me while i was in china of course without even a mention to me. and now she’s telling she’s paying those bills for me. her name is on the certificant of this house, not mine. what the **** is wrong with her??! she then continues saying how she hated her mom when she was my age so she totally understands me and won’t blame me. that is just so ridiculous.. my grandma is the kindest person in the world and it must be her problem that she didn’t get along with her. what’s worse? she beat my grandma once. having the emergency ppl coming to my grandma’s house to save her from a heart attack. i witnessed that with my own eyes when i was just a little kid. now i asked her, she denies. whatever!!! she thinks i was too small to remember or what. i remember every single ugly thing she did in the past including pointing my nose telling me to out of the house when i was unwilling to do her english assignment for her when she was in church taking free english classes. she went out of the house kicking and yelling. asking me to move out again.. it’s no use now. my father and i moved out once.. and it was her who did every possible way she can to get us move back including yelling in the apartment we chose to live. she’s just plain crazy.. that’s all i can say about her.
so there’s how my sleep in morning went.
