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world tradegy
September 12th, 2001
any war is a world tragedy.. no matter who and who, it affects us all as people living on the earth. i got some ambigous comments from the person named “one”, let me tell you, if you want to die, we don’t care, but i do care other who don’t want to. cheer for it while you blow into ashes if you will… i wont feel sorry.. but you will feel sorry if you leave those comments on my territory again.
the day of tradegy
September 11th, 2001
soon following my drama, comes one of the most tragic day of history. by now i think everyone should have heard of the world trade crash… this morning when i went to work, 50 students were outside of the lab surrounding the tv in the hallway.. soon i saw the most horrific replay on tv – the crash of two most famous highrises in the world. terrorist activities are well heard of in america.. but with tragedy so huge, no one can claim have seen ever before. i could not believe it. it gives me chill. how is this gonna influenced the world? the country i’m living in? sigh… i’m quite speechless actually… this is human race? this is a world?…. i suppose i can express my feelings here.. only if i can put myself together to write one.
i got my god sister’s email informing the death of her mom on September 4th… i wish her mom is at peace in heaven now. i told my sis that her mom can visit her any time now coz her mom’s soul is free.
i suppose i can still pretend life goes on.. and go to lunch *really don’t feel like eating* ><
so what happened?
September 10th, 2001
saturday nite i showed andy the webpage i made for him. by then, there were almost 100 people who signed our guestbook which including his mom, brother, cousins and aunt. he was very much touched by everything and tears fell out of his eyes. he kissed and hugged me tight.. then he said he will give me the second surprise, he also request that we must go to the park…
he carried a notebook and we started heading to the park that we went to a year earlier on this same date (Septemper 9th).. i asked him whether it was a poem that he was gonna give me. he said maybe.. i was thinking what else could be in that notebook besides some writing..
soon it proved i was right but not quite.
we entered the park and found a table and sat down. facing the twilight, he started his heart felt poem. it sounded much like an outline of what we’ve been thru in the past year at first.. until…
==========
The tale of the love of the year:
How did it happen?
Where did it start?
Who handed over the reins of my heart?
The tale of the love of the year
It is how I describe the sweet music I hear.
That speaks of a woman lovely and fair
And the man whose love she longed to bear
Deep inside this man’s blue eyes
His love stayed hidden so tender and shy
So slowly at first with long walks at night
These lovers talked and expressed what they might, ’til that day she asked him to stay
And let all of the feelings come what way, together they slept their dreams of the stars
All within rhythm of the beating of hearts
and a beautiful morning with sun on her face
The man slowly, sadly had to leave her place
But together again the lovers would be
Separation was impossible which was plain to see
Alone in the night in each other’s arms
They discovered great passion and somewhere so warm,
where their love could grow and forever it will
When he left he saw her at the window still.
Oh why must he go, she needed him there
But what was the price? Should they dare?
dare they did for their love was so great
and all of the prices left up to fate.
But how odd it was for the lovers to find, that people can be so open and kind
So never again would they have to part, and every night is the passion of their heart
Thus is the tale of the love of the year and for me, my love, it has been something so dear
that my heart must keep it forever with me, which is why i now ask,
(Andy kneeled down in front of me and looking into my eyes, i was so afraid what i was guessing was true but he went ahead), Will you marry me?
============
As soon as he said that, my head started to spin around *WHAT??* andy continued: “I mean not right now, but in the future. I want people to know you not as my girlfriend but my fiancee, someone who will become my wife one day. I don’t even have a ring, nor do I have money to buy one. But knowing that one day I can have a family with you will make me the happiest man in the world.”
i didn’t know what has happened in the past few minutes. My head was filled with overwhelming astonishment. This was nothing I expected. Never in a hundred years would I guess this. Why so soon and with such a heartfelt and romantic woo? I felt like hiding. No matter how much I love him, I still felt like hiding somewhere I can not be seen. There were men before him asking me to marry them, but not in this dramatic way. I took them more or less as a joke. I didn’t know how to handle situations so real.. this is not in movies… i mean, am i dreaming? so while those thoughts running thru my mind, i took a break. i asked him to stand up. he sat down next to me and i put my face into his bossom. that was my way of hiding myself i suppose. i started to feel his warm body, heartbeat and breath, so i believed i was not in a dream. this was rather realistic. he asked me to marry him, yes he did. but i never thought of marriage recently. not until i graduate from college. fiancee.. that word sounded a little too serious and too distant. was i going to totally break his heart if i told him no? so there i felt my heart trembling. much like the first time i heard someone told me in a heartfelt way that he loved me. my heart almost felt like hurting. i didn’t exactly know why i felt that way. obviously i had some tremendous emotions going thru my brain and they reached by my heart as well. i didn’t know how long my silence lasted. for a moment, i thought i was never going to speak again. finally with some fear, i told andy slowly.
“This is really a big deal for me, I can not give you an answer in…, just now.”
He nodded.
“That’s fine.”
“I understand. I will ask you again after I’m more ready to be a good husband and a father. After I graduated from college.”
Phew… I felt a huge weight had just been taken off my shoulder. I was happy I didn’t break his heart after all. I wanted to him smile again and he did. So that was my dramatic Saturday nite. Andy went on about how he believed being a successful husband and father was the biggest chanllege in a man’s life. And for him, it was also the biggest goal. He said going college and having a good career in the future was only his way for reaching his goal. And having a family was his biggest wish in life. He wanted to have a family with me.
Sunday was not as sunny as I hoped. But it was ok for us. Andy never brought up the marriage topic again. We went to cedar rapids have chinese buffet. Then we went to shopping. And I got a webcam ($20), a sweater ($18), a cd wallet (for 64 cds) ($15) and andy got a watch for $30. Around the mall, in different stores, we took numerous goofy (weirdest) pictures. Later at night we went to see American Pie II. It was simply stupid and hilarious. Right after movie, andy told me: Ok, I admit, that movie was funny.
Back to school, clumsy me forgot my wallet, so I had to go to dad’s office for lunch. That was I didn’t have time to get on internet all day. Then without bus pass, I went to my dad and he carried me home on his bike LOL. It’s once in life scene people! Too bad you missed it. Only my poor butt was so horribly abused ><
andy’s surprise
September 8th, 2001
our anniversary is coming up. I CANT WAIT! I CANT WAIT!! andy finally told me one of his suprises for me. coz he was asking me to leave the room when he had to use the computer. it was driving me crazy. later when i returned the room, he was making poopie face which almost looked like crying. so he had to tell that he found out that his surprise wont arrive until monday. so he was so sad… i nagged a while and he finally told me it’s a TABLET!!! one of the professional ones. a WACOM intuos 6×8 tablet with more than 2100 pressure adjustments. sounds a lot like this one.. but i don’t know how exactly it looks like. I can’t believe it. I really didn’t want him to spend so much money >< but it's too great. it's one of item i put on my wish list but he got it before i even had the wish list up. i was about to cry.. i didn't know whether i was too happy or too touched.. maybe both.
RASCAL!!
back to school
September 4th, 2001
back to school??! so soon? grr.. i woke up with watery eyes.. and couldn’t make myself to believe that i will have to go school in an hour while waiting for stupid delivery guy to show up with my new cd burner. i talked to andy on aim! yay.. i told him about aim express.. i can catch him on aim once in a while now… how sweet. daynah’s back, can’t wait til talk to her tonite.. sounds like her trip was mostly fine.
michel fixed my b2 cp.. it was only because of a quotation mark, can you believe that? mysql is not taking single quotes but only double. so he’s gonna change all single quotes in the script to double now. anyway, if the delivery doesn’t show up before i have to go, i will have to leave the person a note and catch the bus.. so be back 
labor day
September 3rd, 2001
b2 is down for me for no good reason. first time i have to post in my mysql admin. anywayz i just go daynah’s lil u2u telling me how she’s doing on her trip. sounds pretty fine =)
yesterday andy and i went cook out with his brother and elizabeth (his brother’s gf).. it was quite fun. i was so stuffed at the end i didn’t even have room for ice cream.
labor day starts out fine for me.. when i first opened my eyes this morning, andy was holding a bowl of rice with my favorite sauage in it telling me to eat breakfast.. gosh… i couldn’t believe it.. or more like i was shocked.. i thought i was in a dream hehehehhe. he just came back from “work” and brought the badminton net set i really wanted.. WOW.. we can play badminton now.. i’m SO SO SO happy.. screams and runs out …………
long weekend
September 1st, 2001
long weekend (labor day weekend) has just started.. i’m stuck in the lab.. doing my 6 hour long work =P it’s so boring here.. i’d say there have been at most 8 people in the lab using computer… i can only hear machine breath and typing.. that’s all.. it’s so dead! i’m the only one working since the semester has just started and they are short on people grrr… how annoying.. i will have to image some of the computers.. two labs! about 100 of them 
i just did two small hacks for b2. now i should go do my discrete structure homework. i also have a retarded cs project but i dont think i will do that til next week.
andy’s at his dad’s watching hawkeye’s first game.. i wont see him until tonite since he has to work nite shift.. *cries*… i gotta find something to do before i die due to boredom =P i won’t.. still thinking of new ideas about a new layout for regretless… probably a professional and SIMPLE design.. i will try to my get search engine set up for my domain =)
hours?
August 31st, 2001
since i didn’t get the webmaster job, i’m thinking of picking up more hours in the lab..tuesday from 9:25 – 11:25 is the only appropriate hours, should i take it or not?? if i take it, that means less time sleep in if i dont, means less money! i have to battle with myself for a while.
for those who don’t know, i’ve already quit the web manager job for FACSS coz the one of the ppl on the board is just SO PLAIN RUDE.. i hate her. so i decided not to put up with her. but the president keeps calling me.. so annoying last nite he called again, andy picked up the phone and asked “who is this”, he either couldn’t speak english or didn’t have his brain with him, he answered “um, ying?” so andy had to raise his deep voice and went “WHO IS CALLING” finally he said his name, i told andy i didn’t want to answer, so andy told him “don’t call back this late, we are trying to sleep”.. ridiculously i got the president’s emails saying how he’s gonna call again tonite at 10:30. what the heck is wrong with him?! how can a person not to pick up hints like this. so i had to reply say “what things so important that you have to call not email” grrr.. i’m so annoyed
daynah is going to SF.. how sweet, she told me she’s gonna take pictures of the golden gate bridge. i can’t wait to see.. have you been there before?
how did my day go?
August 30th, 2001
i’d say my day went very well.. i came to the lab earlier to finish my discrete structure assignment.. then i went eat, mexican food, altho not my favorite, they were pretty decent. then i went to unix lab *still can’t get my password changed* you have any idea how strict those machinese are, it kept telling me my new password is too simple tho i wouldn’t think so at all. i talked to jeff (my boss) later, he said there are unix machines here that check your password with a dictionary. if your password contains any word or pattern, they won’t let you use it. i still think that my password wasn’t any word or partern.. but oh well.. that’s just awesome. they really want you to use a totally random password, then what’s the point of change it? i will just stick with the one they gave me then =P while on the unix machine, i used netscape and surfed a lil and found out i wasn’t able to update my blog due the fact the css wasn’t supported on netscape. btw, i dont think IE made browser compatible to unix?? i was quite pissed by that =P i will have to fix the css tonite.
coming back to work, i was called into another lab for some questions, i came back fully concentrated to finishing up the new posting rule on my board without even realize andy’s already here. he was speaking to adam and later tried hard to do weird things to get my attention hahhaha.. i’m always too concentrated on webpage ;P
haven’t gotten a chance to blog
August 29th, 2001
eeek.. school server has been down these two days so i couldn’t reach regretless at school.. it felt like taking my hands away from me, i felt so uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do. fortunately i didn’t have to work today so i came home earlier.
yesterday was horrible, my creative writing teacher didn’t show up for the first day of class. i just got his message on the answer message saying how the schedule he has is different from ours that was why. oh well. i still have to turn in one short story next tuesday tho.. guess i will cheat by just using “the color of heaven” hehehehe =P
about that girl, i don’t mind any more. no need to waste more emotions on that kinda silly thing. i did buy both regretless.net and regretless.org yesterday tho. i’m pretty happy with what i did. when i have more money i will get a hosting company for regretless.org so it may become a community for hosting =) would that be sweet? =)
anywayz.. i’ve decided to calm down and working on my homework today and try to catch up other things online that i wasn’t able to catch yesterday.
