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Falling Leaves
March 25th, 2008
This book hit something deep inside of me. I can draw so many parallels between Niang and my own mother. Even Lydia’s behaviors remind me of my mother. It reminds me how my mother used to fall asleep and snore in 20 minutes while I was heart broken and sobbing unceasingly next to her hurt by her words or actions. It’s funny that I cannot put my thoughts in a collective manner as the author did in the book but last night I could not put the book down while I was near the end even though I was tired out of my mind. As I grow older and spend absolutely no time with my mother, I cannot forget what she’s done to me. I can forget the details of an event but I will never forget the heart wrenching feelings, the aching sleepless nights and the despair and disbelief in the fact my own mother doesn’t love me. Although I always thought I’m not alone, this book did a job beyond my belief of proving it. While I admire the author’s tenacious courage to seek for love in her family, I know from my own experience that love sometimes just doesn’t exist from your closest kin. It’s forever a void in your heart. I loved my mother consciously and unconsciously for many many years and I probably still do. What hurts the most is the feeling of love unreturned and unappreciated. For me, at least I am trying my best to stop “wasting” love on a person unworthy of it. But how can a child truly get away from his/her parent emotionally? We sometimes laugh as why some women won’t leave their abusive husbands. Deep down I understand their sadness. I thought for many years that I would no longer suffer once I live independent of my parents. But until today I still weep uncontrollably when reminded of my emotion attachment of my past and my mother.
dodo has been online for ten years
January 4th, 2008
the other night i realized something amazing. i’ve been to the online world for ten years. i got my first modem at home when i was 16 and i’m turning 26 soon. TEN YEARS.. that’s a long time. a very significant part of a life. from 16 to 26, a person can change so much. so i started to remember everything that happened in this ten years. i became so emotional i couldn’t sleep. perhaps every generation has its own thing that’s bound to change people’s lives and the internet is the one for mine.
now please excuse my poor english. i can never express my emotions in english the way i do in chinese. therefore i notice when i get emotional, i speak in chinglish.
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All About My Dog, Marimo
December 12th, 2007
This video made me cry today. It’s so nice. It captures you.
facts of life
August 20th, 2001
i read this on my board, altho i already know all these without reading. i still think it’s cute to read.
- At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
- At least 15 people in this world love you in someway.
- The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
- A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.
- Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
- You mean the world to someone.
- If not for you, someone may not be living.
- You are special and unique.
- Someone that you don’t even know exists, loves you.
- When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
- When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
- When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won’t get it, but if you ! believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
- Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
- Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
- If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
