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good friday
March 29th, 2002
good friday?! i’m not religious so it’s no different from any other fridays for me.
kozzi’s got her tote bag. ISN’T it cuuuute?! OMG she and her bag are so adorable =) i saw couple very cute drawings on my oekaki today, such as Fleye’s Guitar Playing Dog. andy found a funny priest joke last nite:
THE NEW PRIEST
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
So the next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At thebeginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took adrink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don’t gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
10.We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11.When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and eat it, for it is my body”, he did not say, “Eat me.”
12.The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, “Mary with the Cherry”.
13.The recommended grace before a meal is not: “Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God”. and finally…
14.Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.Peter’s, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
we are going to play a new game soulbringer now =)
cars & truck
March 29th, 2002
i really like this thing carly found.
What Car Names Really Mean
ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
AMC -Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW -Break My Windshield
BUICK -Big Ugly Import Car Killer
CHEVROLET -Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
DODGE -Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
FIAT -Fix It Again Tony
FORD -First On Recall Day
FORD -Fix Or Repair Daily
GEO -Good Engineering Overlooked
G. M. -General Maintenance
G. M. -Goshdarn Mess
GMC -Gets Mechanics Crazy
HONDA -Had One, Never Do-that Again
HONDA -Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
HYUNDAI -How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
IROC -I Reek Of Cologne
JEEP -Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
LTD -Last Try from Detroit
MAZDA -My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
MERCEDES -Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans
M.G. -Money Guzzler
MITSUBISHI -Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete
MOPAR -Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
MUSTANG -Men Usually Stand Together And Never Go
NISSAN -Nine Idiots Standing, Saying Absolutely Nothing
OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.
PINTO -Put In Nickel To Operate
PONTIAC -Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It’s A Cadillac
PORSCHE -Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB -Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
TOYOTA -Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO -Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW -Virtually Worthless
haha, i just saw the funnist advertisement on a beer truck. it says “we all make a difference, beerresponsible.com” or it could be read as “we all make a difference, beirreponsible.com” LOL
no offense, just thought it was funny.
