2000-10-15 by Dodo

i know i’ll have to get off since andy’s gonna call.. last nite i told andy more about me and rongrong.. i said to him i once thought i shouldn’t tell you too much since it doesn’t always make you feel fine *andy told me he felt i was constantsly comparing him with rongrong and sometimes he felt he’s only the second one on the list*.. but i think if you really want me, i want to have the entire me not just part of me. my history can never be obliterated in my life and i’ll constantly think back about. this doesn’t mean, however, i will live in my past. i told him my do not rank people in my heart chronologically.. i yearn to go on with my life… i hoped he would feel better.. amazingly he showed a total unexpected understanding i was 100% touched by it… he said – ever since he had the dream of rongrong, he felt he had talked to him virtually. there is a sense of mutuality. he credits me for value my past so much. he is just pleased to know there is another man in this world who loves me just as much as he does and i loved him just as much. he couldn’t ask for anything better. – “thank you” i whispered his ears.. then i said dreamily “i’m so lucky” he asked “why” i said “coz i met you” 🙂