a letter written by me from the last century. i do not know why i want to quote it. there’s something in it that makes my heart …..
“****… you don’t understand.. it’s again midnite..school tomorrow right? sure.. and what is crazy dodo doing? missing you.. kept tossing around on the bedcouldn’t fall asleep. ******** made me sad today… ihad enough sleep this afternoon.. but i was dreamingabout strange things… many things are in my mindsimutaneously… what are you doing now, honey?so i got up.. turned on my computer.. check emails..then i found this site in my webring submissions…full of couples’ pics.. gosh that just made me feelworse.. hai… i’m so dead now i just ate an cake,some snaps.. and two cups of 7ups.. i’m gonna have badteeth if i keep eating during nite and don’t brush..eek eeksee i’m a lil crazy right now.. i don’t really knowwhat i am doing. i’m half lying on the bed.. iextended my arms long enough so i can reach keyboard..i see my typings sideway.. so don’t be surprised if mysentences don’t make sense.. coz they arent proofreadthe correct way.sometimes it helps when i get online.. coz i felt somuch more lonely in the dark, on the bed, all bymyself… ****..*tears*.. i wish to hear your voice..almost like whispering.. but so sweet so gentle.. mysole is connected with it.. no one would understandhow much that voice mean to me.. not even me..sometimes i try to immitate your voice and i feltreal.. almost felt like you are around.. next to myear.. but then that feeling went away.. leaving behinda room of darkness… i would then cover myself upwith blanket.. holding myself tight.. trying to avoid any coalition with fate… but i’m so vulnerable.. i can’t handle the tide of memory.. i can’t resist thehope of seeing you… i’m just in hand of my ownemotions.. rocking back and forth.. til it stopsrocking.. i will raise my head and start to look outof window.. sunshine always makes me happy.. but todaythere was no sun in the sky.. it rained and snowed…i didnt know what it meant… i just went back rocking… sad huh? but it’s alright.. i guess i just wentback to baby stage.. baby likes to be rocked ba…….k… i must have some mental obstructionstonite.. coz half of my words make sense.. the otherdoesnt… if you can ignore the other.. fine… hmmi’m getting sleepy.. my friend is going to sleep too..ok i’m even yawning now….. hmm……~~”