personal

why does it have to come down to this?

i’ve been online all night but as soon as i got offline to go to sleep, i got a phone call from a friend of my dad’s telling me my dad is now in jail and i need to go to court tomorrow at 8am. i do not know the details but apparently my mom is pressing charges on my dad. the friend said my mom has some injuries on her face but no one knows for sure who inflicted it. my guess is she claims my dad did it and my dad probably did not (similar scenario happened before). i really do not know why it has to come down to this.

i remember when i went back to china in 2002, my grandma kept insisting that she wants to see a picture of our “family” with my parents and i smiling in it. we haven’t taken a picture together for at least 10 years. it’s so pathetic. i’ve been contemplating about calling my grandma recently since the chinese new year is getting close. what a great story to tell her on the holiday. she will probably have a heart attack and die.

too many lives have my parents deeply impacted. not only did they completely waste their own marriage. most of my childhood esp. teenage years were hell. they have disappointed tons of their friends and relatives. it all comes to this: 8am tomorrow at the court house.

i was just in the court house getting legally married today. i did not mention it because andy and i are still planning the celebration on a different date. andy’s entire family were there tho we only asked two of them to come because of the minimium requirement of witness. then we went to a restaurant to celebrate. his mom brought us cake and champagne. we were joking and having fun at the dinner just hours ago.

now i’m back home ready to sleep and only got a phone call informing my dad is in the jail because of my mom. my life hasn’t been this dramatic for a long time.

i do feel sorry for my dad. he is not a bad person but he’s made too many weak decisions in his life. he should have divorced my mom a long long time ago. there is no doubt there are regrets in his mind now sitting in a jail cell. we tried to call him at the jail but the police said we can not talk or visit him right now. we should try calling tomorrow after court. so i do not know many of the details of the whole drama. i guess i am about to find out tomorrow. but how am i going to sleep now?

31 thoughts on “why does it have to come down to this?

  1. One, congratulations on your marriage. May you be blessed for the rest of your lives together!

    Two, I’m sorry to hear about this problem with your parents.

    I’ll be praying for your family, hon. Hang in there.

  2. Congratulations on your marriage!! So sorry to hear about this though! What a mess, I do hope that your dad will be okay…and that your grandma won’t get a heart attack. Best of luck to you! Try your best to rest a little 🙂

  3. first, congratulations on your marriage! and I’m very sorry about your parents. this should not be your responsibility to clean up, and it’s not fair. I hope it all ends up okay somehow.

  4. I’m sorry to hear about your family situation.. it must be really tough to be in the middle of it all 😕
    I hope that everything will work out for you and your family! Btw congratulations on your marriage ~ all the best to you ^^

  5. Wow that’s really horrible. Especially on your big day. I know how you feel though I grew up with no parents, but you know something.. You turned out great and you’re with the person you love so try not to think about the bad things so much. I know it’s hard but you turned out to be a great person in the long run and that’s something no one can take away and you should be proud of yourself. *sighs* family can be such a pain sometimes. All in all I hope things get better and a big congratulations on your marriage! 😉

  6. Oh dear, that sounds terrible. Hopefully the whole matter would be resolved nicely tomorrow and that things would change for the better. It is sad to hear about parents quarelling and families breaking up. Secondly, congratulations on getting married.

  7. I’m so sorry to hear about this whole situation. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. I hope that everything works out for the best.

    Congrats on the marriage, though 🙂

  8. omg, wow. congrats on getting married!
    guess i’m one of the lucky ones. my parents always got along. they were married at a court house too. my dad actually went to work that day.
    hope this whole thing with ur parents works out ok

  9. Dear Dodo, congratulations on getting married!!!! Andy and you must be ecstatic!!! You are a brilliantly cute family, with the two doggies of course! I cant believe it is almost 3 years that you went to China, I remember the pics you took and the entries you wrote about meeting school friends (right?)? Where did the time go. 😦 Anyway, I admire you for having gone through this, and having got through it that healthy! You must be a hell of a survivor Dodo!

  10. congrats on getting married =]
    but sorry that your day and to end up like this, and start tomorrow off the way it will 😦

    Yet alas, one thing at a time. *hug*

  11. Congratulations on getting married, but I do feel sad that it has to end like that. Hopefully things will get back and will get well soon… Prayers and hugs!

  12. Hey Dodo! Congratulations on your marriage! I hope Andy and you get along well, and I also hope that the celebration will go well. Make sure that no-one eats too much cake 🙂
    Sad to hear about your dad. It’s amazing how a phone call can change everything!
    You are right about how your dad should have divorced a while ago. Oh well. I hope all goes well later. My good luck wishes are upon you! 😀

  13. Dodo, I’m so sorry about your parents, that must be a horrible thing to have to go through. I’ll be praying that everything turns out for the best. Congratulations on getting married, can’t wait to see pictures from the actual ceremony. Good luck. 🙂

  14. big ouch 😦 sorry about the whole thing and how you were having a perfectly good evening (congrats on getting that whole legalized marriage thing 😮 i was just wondering the other day if dodo would marry andy XD) but yea, my parents have their flaws too >.> it would be betetr for them to divorce 😦 i’m afraid the same thing (liek what happened to you) will happen with my family. *pat pat* good luck at the court house and hope all goes well!!

  15. I am so sorry to hear about that, Dodo :(. My brother was recently in legal and personal troubles and it was really emotionally and physically hard experience for me cause I was the only one who could help him. I hope things will get better with you and your Dad.

  16. Dear Dodo, what a story! First of all congratulations on getting married. You and Andy will make a great couple ^_^. I hope that everything will work out okay for your dad. But I’m sure it will because you and other people know what you mom is like. Just tell the court honistly what you think that happened. Maybe this is a wake-up call for your dad to build a better life on his own. I think he deserves that! Hang in there Dodo.

  17. Hey, Dodo.

    I’m a bit of a lurker and have never commented before, but I wanted to congrat you on your marriage – I’m very happy for you! I’m just so sorry that your day was soured by this horrible news. Know what though? At the end of the day, your wedding day is just that – a day. A marriage lasts a lifetime, so there’s plenty left for you to enjoy. 🙂

    With love, V xx

  18. i’m sorry about your dad. seems like a perfect reason to ruin your perfect night of celebration. You must feel a bit or a lot awful, nevertheless, abruptly knowing that your dad has been put behind bars isn’t such a good thing for all of you. I can’t advise you anything, but just here to listen.

    Anyway, I can’t congratulate the bride because “congratulations” goes for the groom! Congrats to Andy for having you.. And you, BEST WISHES!!!!!!! lol … Love each other and learn to accept the good and the bad and work it all out… mwaaah!

  19. Dodo,
    I know we haven’t talked for quite awhile. But, I wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. I wish you the best in your marriage. I’m also so sorry you are in this awful postion. Feel free to im me online. aim=hi5lipstick

  20. I SUGGESTED GRAVATARS!!!!!!!!

    congrats on the marriage. it sux not having a ceremony. i had to get married in court when he got me pregnant. a pregnant bride in pants and a shirt isnt very nice. i feel like white trash. but congrats to you. 😀 hope you like it. i hate it.

    1. neither of us wanted a ceremony. we don’t believe it. i even wished the precedure could be even more simpler. the celebration is what i’m looking forward to.

  21. So HAPPY for your marriage and so down for your family’s troubles… I dont’ know what it means to live both these experiences, so that I don’t even know what to say.. I only hope you’ ll have a happy, joyfull life from now on. : )

  22. first, big congrats! are you guys planning a honeymoon also? woohoo! that is exciting 🙂

    sorry to hear about the drama going on… that’s a total bummer…

  23. omg i’m really sorry to hear that. i had some family problems while i was growing up, it was horrible. well i hope you get through this and it turns out ok in the end. congratulations on getting married! i wish you two the best of luck. 🙂

  24. Dodo, congratuations to you and Andy. I am happy for you. You will have a happy family with kids who will say that they have the greatest parents in the world.

  25. Congrats on the marriage, Dodo! 😀 What wonderful news! Gosh, we’re all growing up. But be careful – soon everyone is going to ask you when you’re going to have a baby! Ack!

    Also regarding your parents, remember that every problem is an opportunity for change. Even if the opportunity is not taken, it is good that you and your parents have these opportunities. How did court go? If you don’t want to discuss, I hope it went well.

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