1. You can’t help someone who is not taking responsibility for helping themselves.
Sometimes, no matter how much you give, the other person doesn’t seem to meet you halfway. It seems like the more you try to help them, the more they stay the same, or worse, regress.
Maybe they have become so used to your helping them that they no longer have the ability to see where they need to help themselves. Or maybe they take your helping for granted so they feel they no longer need to participate.
2. Sometimes, doing nothing is helping them.
When someone asks you for help in some tangible way or when you see the obvious need in others, especially a loved one, it’s very hard to say no. However, before you say yes, ask yourself what’s the cost to you.
Are you compromising yourself in some way that is beyond your personal boundaries? Sometimes by saying no and doing nothing, you’re giving them a chance to take responsibility for their own lives and help themselves.
3. Helping someone doesn’t mean fixing them.
Often, you think you know what is best for another person, but you don’t truly know what is for their highest good or what life has in store for them. They are in a situation because they need to learn some spiritual or life lessons.
You can’t shortchange their learning process, no matter how hard you try to help them, if they’re not in the right place and time to learn those lessons.
4. You can help by accepting them as and where they are.
We all have judgments about ourselves and others. However, helping means accepting the other person as they are and where they are on their life’s path.
It can be excruciatingly painful to sit by and watch the other person self-destruct or seemingly do nothing to help themselves, but maybe this is what they need right now in order to become more aware in themselves.
5. Don’t be attached to the outcome of your helping.
You may have expectations of what someone would become and what they’d do with their lives once you help them. You want to see this person feel better, be happier, healthier, and make better life decisions.
However, it’s not up to you to put intention in the other person’s space. What’s good for them may not be what you expect, and you might not like or agree with the outcome. Let go of attachment to your own ego and your own vision of what the other person will become once they’re helped.
6. Send loving, compassionate intention.
Know that your intention to help another person, when it’s from a place of neutrality, love, and compassion, will always be helpful, whether or not you feel you’re doing enough. Just having the intention to help and sending your peaceful, loving energy to the other person and their situation is sometimes the best thing to do.
Thoughts have energy, so even if you just send compassionate thoughts to the other person, you are doing something to help.