Pick Up Lines

Man: Haven’t we met before?
Woman: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place?
Woman: Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.

Man: I’d like to call you. What’s your number?
Woman: It’s in the phone book.
Man: But I don’t know your name.
Woman: That’s in the phone book too.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.

Man: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
(Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: Je voudrais bien, mais je n’ai rien a porter.
(I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)

Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No Parking.

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not Enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized!

Man: Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason
Woman: Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!

Man: I’m here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.
Woman: You mean you’ve got both a donkey and a Great Dane?

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you…..to leave.

Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

Man: Hey cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I’d go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let’s start with your bank account.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

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