Drunk Idiot

There’s this guy that lives in one of the basement apartments next door. He’s one of many, many bachelors that has lived in that bachelor apartment since we’ve lived here. You might (but I doubt it) remember me talking about the guy that used to live there that was always ringing our doorbell and asking if we had any special k lol. Anyway, he has this incredibly loud crappy little electric blue car with flippy headlights, and he tears up and down the narrow driveway at lightning speeds at all hours of the the day, and mostly, night. So he comes home a couple nights ago at 3am, scraping the brick wall on our house as he went, pulls into one of the parking spots in the back and CRASHES into a bright yellow shopping cart full of empty milk jugs. The shopping cart was then smashed up against the wall of the church daycare center and I thought that the world around me was collapsing it was THAT fucking loud. When he backed up, the cart was stuck to his bumper so he spent about 15 minutes backing up, pulling forward .. backing up, pulling forward, trying to get the cart to fall off. He finally stopped his car, stumbled out and FELL DOWN on the driveway. And the funniest part was, the passenger door opened and he had a GIRL with him lolol this is the first girl I’ve seen him bring home EVER since he’s lived here. He was probably tearing up the driveway all drunk thinking, I’m gonna get some ass, I’m gonna get some ass!! … and then he crashed his car and passed out drunk. When she couldn’t revive him (she screamed at him for quite some time but he didn’t budge) she hollered at the top of her lungs “SCREW YOU, I’M GETTING A TAXI!!!” and she stormed off down the driveway. Maybe I should have gone outside to see if he was ok, but I’m a city girl and so while I might spy through the blinds, I never interfere, so I went back to bed. It was 3am, after all.

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