personal

my mom’s crazy

i really hate my mom.. it’s not that i should let her get in my way, she’s just always everywhere… like always… it’s about money.. she only cares about money i swear.. she’s so ridiculous >< i don't understand!!!!!!!!!! she always makes me cry. i didn't cry too much today tho.. not like last time.. i just feel crying for her is so meaningless and i hate myself doing that.

she's been asking my dad to pay for the mortgage for the house without sharing any of the tenat rent with him. that's just plain not fair. and last weekend, my dad, andy and i have already talked and decided to set up a date to talk to the tenat to remake a contract with her so she can pay both of my parents since my mom is such a *****. she came in this morning waking me up because andy turned on heater these days so i don't get worse on my cold. and she doesn't want to pay extra for the heater and asked me what kind of cold i have. she's willing to buy medicine or a small electric heater in my room but not the extra money in heating the house. all she cares is money.. she only comes to ask me my health due to money. that just hurts me… it really does.. i mean it doesn't surprise me or anything.. by moving out two times in the past few years, i don't ever want to expect any kindness or motherly like features in her.. but still everytime i converse with her i get so mad and hurt. i don't understand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she's asking me to move out again… the old things replay themselves. i was crying… coz i just don't understand how can she do things like this.

i told her i understand that my father wants to keep money for himself because he doesn't want to spent his rest of life with her. my father has always planning to go back to china when he retires.. guess what my mom says? she said she's planning for the same thing and that's why she thinks he should pay for everything. i asked: why you tried so hard not to get a divorce with him during so many attempts that my father started? what's the point? she said she just doesn't want trouble. TROUBLE??! what's trouble, fighting everyday or just get it taken care once. of course deep inside i know why.. because she still relies on him to get her greencard that time. she will lose the thing she wants most if she agreed to divorce. and she still wants to show that this is a family on the surface. WHY WHY WHY WHY???!!!!!!!!!!!!! i don't understand. it's not like she cares… she still thinks i will not have a life any better then she does. she contantsly tells me: you will do the same thing in the future and once you will see why i'm doing this. NO WAY IN A MILLION MILLION YEARS would i ever be able to understand her. i just hate her.. hate her selfishness and coldness. i don't know why she's my mom. she doesn't care about me.. only her money. she only talks me when i'm using too much of her money. god **** she's not paying a penny for my college.. i pays mostly myself by working 20 hours a week and my dad helps. and she says that's because my dad should be responsible 50% of my cost as a parent. I was like, 50% or 100%? she was like what about all the bills i pay?! it's not much less than his mortgage payment. all she cares is money…….. she took the $1000 check my father sent to me while i was in china of course without even a mention to me. and now she's telling she's paying those bills for me. her name is on the certificant of this house, not mine. what the **** is wrong with her??! she then continues saying how she hated her mom when she was my age so she totally understands me and won't blame me. that is just so ridiculous.. my grandma is the kindest person in the world and it must be her problem that she didn't get along with her. what's worse? she beat my grandma once. having the emergency ppl coming to my grandma's house to save her from a heart attack. i witnessed that with my own eyes when i was just a little kid. now i asked her, she denies. whatever!!! she thinks i was too small to remember or what. i remember every single ugly thing she did in the past including pointing my nose telling me to out of the house when i was unwilling to do her english assignment for her when she was in church taking free english classes. she went out of the house kicking and yelling. asking me to move out again.. it's no use now. my father and i moved out once.. and it was her who did every possible way she can to get us move back including yelling in the apartment we chose to live. she's just plain crazy.. that's all i can say about her.

so there's how my sleep in morning went.

24 thoughts on “my mom’s crazy

  1. *hugs* Sis… I hope you’re ok… reading your entry just made my heart break… I can’t believe you have to go thru so much pain… I know my mom is sometimes harsh on me.. nagging at everything I do…. but your mom is a bit extreme…. *sigh* I wish I could be physically there for you and give you a hug… My heart is crying… How could someone have such a wonderful and loving daughter be so heartless and cruel?… it doesn’t make sense… *shake head* doesn’t make any sense at all… I can see the pain you’re going through sis.. I can feel it hurting me as much it hurts you… I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I wish things would get better for you soon sis… maybe someday soon you and andy can come move out to CA… we can hang out all the time. 🙂 *smile* I’ll even take you to Disneyland… =) *hugs* I really wish you were here… I’ll be your shoulder to cry on… *hugs* If you need to talk, I’ll be on aim.. cheer up sis..

    Love,
    Daynah

  2. thanks sis.. i called my grandma in china after that and i talked to her.. she was so understanding just like everyone else.. i was crying on the phone.. but then i had to go.. due to lack of sleep.. my eyes are hurting all day.. so i’m going home soon, to finish my discrete structure homework and to be comfortable with myself and hopefully my mom wont be there 😦

  3. Ahh.. good to hear you’re okie sis. 🙂 I’m sorry you have to go thru this… *hugs* I’ll talk to you when you get home, but you should get some rest. 🙂 Sleep well.

  4. oh dodo! ::hugs:: that’s horrible. i cannot believe a mother would turn away her daughter over money! you are in my thoughts. i hope you are feeling better…take care of yourself…you will prove to her that you will turn out differently…and much better.

    1. HAHAHAHA you really have no idea what it is to have an evil mother my mum/Lucifer or Lucy is true evil! BELIEVE me when I say make no mistake about it! my mother had 5 children and I am the youngest of the five in all 2 girls and 3 boys at 26 years old. when I was a young boy about 7 or 8 I was constantly subject to domestic violence in the form of my step dad and mother fighting!I used to sit at the top of the staircase waiting for the screaming to stop. my mum always to put her men first and her kids way down the end of the scale… We was neglected as a young boys with me and my two brothers all sharing the same tin of beans or tinned spagettie, we used to add curry powder or butter to them to make them more appealing! The fighting went on for about 10 years with my eldest brother leaving home as a result of the constant hell that we where all subjected to everyday! we couldnt have friends from school round or nothing like that coz my mother used to cause arguments regularly and the police where called out frequently with sometimes 4 or 5 officers! my mum is a sociopath her weapons are peoples emotions and she is ruthless in her actions manipulating others to achieve her own ends no matter what the costs! my two sisters are the 1st and 2nd eldest so I will refer to them as 1 and 2 they both left home at very young ages due to the twisted workings of my mother i.e attacking one of them-sister 2- with a coffee mug a splitting her head open for answering back, she had over 9 stitches in her skull, Anyway they both left home when I was very young and me and my 2 brothers where close as we only had eachother, my eldest bro third in line-bro 3- was like a father figure to me and my other elder bro-bro 4- who had learning difficulties but with only a 16mths between me and him I felt the wiser, our clothes all came from charity shops sometimes 2 or 3 sizes to big! we used try and fit in at school but when everyone else had so much more then us we where just kids and so it was hard! my mum had a gambling habit and spent alot of her time down the bingo hall, where her money went. she would come back with a packet of space raiders for me and my brothers when she had lost all her money so it was a short lived treat for us but crisps are crisps to young kids and looking back on our childhood we really appreciated every little thing we had. me and my 2 older bros used to try and avoid being indoors after school as we all knew that the arguments where imminent without fail every day, we never got brought a football but we had our own methods of finding ways to play footie, one night after school my eldest bro heard my mother screaming in the kitchen he ran in to find her clutching a 11″ kitchen knife and slicing her wrists.. it was very common for us lads to see the sight of blood,
      our step dad wasnt a saint by any means but looking back I can understand what she put him through, she would say to him things like his best friend known for 34 years tryed to rape her, she sat there on the kitchen floor and let her waters break when she was pregnant with my stepbrother and he died in birth quiet possibly as a result of her not acting because she wanted to hurt him..just one of the many lengths that my EVIL mother would go to to make someone feel hurt! when I was 6 she drove with me to beachy head cliffs in southern england and told my stepdad she was going over the edge and that it was too late do anything! when he left the venom of my mother shifted to me and she constantly vexed me even now by insulting my girlfriends and deliberately causing me problems! there is no logic in her mind only selfishness and self worth, I do not want to go into much more detail about my childhood but everything that I have written is only the tip of the iceberg and much more twisted truths have yet to be spoken she is a very collective, sly, deviant person, an even had me sent to prison! A few winters ago I was on the streets when my ex girlfriend and me broke up and I was staying at my aunties for a time my mum kicked me out of my aunts and moved herself into my room and saw me on the streets 3 weeks before christmas! I was staying at a friends and got quiet drunk and his dad came home unexpected and kicked me out at 3am so I went to sleep in my mums freezing car. After she gave me the keys I thought I would drive it somewhere out of sight of the public eye and I got stopped by the police and arrested for car theft and dd! she had the chance to tell the police that she gave me her keys but instead she did nothing and I was sent to prison for 12mths and banned for 3yrs needlessly! I was tagged to her address and she would regularly threaten to have me sent back to prison if I didnt do what she wanted even over silly things like make her a cup of tea! she is one lazy ***** and weighs over 19stone, all of her partners have left her saying she is insane and all of her kids hate her too including me and at 57 years old she has not changed one bit!

  5. Oh dodo, I’m so sorry. =( I know exactly how you feel.. my mom is the exact same way.. hey.. what’s with asian moms anyway? ^^;; Everyone asian person I go to, is complaining about their mom.. eugh.. my mom is evil too.. =( Last time, she made me cry so bad, I couldn’t breathe. She’s so mean.. doesn’t understand how I feel at all. Only about what she feels. Not once have I ever heard her ask if I was ok… I can really relate to you Dodo. *hugs you* I really hope things turn out better for you! I know it wil!

  6. aww, dodo. I feel really bad for you. I get in fights sometimes with my parents and tell them but I don’t truly mean it. I feel so sorry for you. I hope you feel better and work things out for the best. Hope your cold goes away soon, too!

  7. sometimes i get really pissed at my mom and i just feel like i wouldn’t care if she dropped dead right now but other times i feel like i couldn’t live without her. anyway, hope things turn out okay for you 🙂

  8. I have similar problems with my parents. I understand how you feel. I was emotionally abused a lot as a child. I think I’m suffering issues from that even now. It’s horrible. My parents think of nothing but money. I understand that money is an important issue, espcialy if you’re struggling financialy. I guess it’s hard for parents to remember the times when other things were more important. I’ve fought a lot with my mom. Especialy in high school. Thankfully, she’s not so bad now. But every now and then, she goes crazy and starts with the name calling nonsense. It hurts a lot. I just don’t let her see my cry. I pretend to ignore her, and leave the room.

    I’m really sorry about all of this. I hope things will be better for you Dodo, you don’t deserve this. *hugs*

  9. basically i avoid all i can to converse with her.. but there just times i just can’t avoid.. so she hurts me like usu. sigh… i wished i could have turned my cd player high that morning before i even said anything. life will go on tho.. thanks for all the notes!

  10. Aww.. 😦 I’m so sorry! I know how you feel though. But it’s with my dad. He doesn’t care about me at all, he is married to this evil woman & she always lies to get us in trouble & to get “whipped”. He went a little too far the last time I was there & he said he would do it again too! So, I’m really sorry. Just try not to let it ruin your life = )~ *hugs*

  11. my family has it’s share of problems, but we’re pretty happy in general. reading that entry, i’m so sorry dodo. i can only imagine what it’s like to live under your roof. and i’m sure you’ll be 1000000000 times better than your mom! i don’t know you personally, but someone who is so kind and helpful must be the nicest person in the world. i hope you feel better! there are heaps of stuff we can all be grateful for, so when you’re feeling down, make sure you think about close friends, as well as friends like us who is here for you. 🙂 if all else fails, chocolate usually helps. 🙂

  12. *hugs* so sorry to hear about your mom. My mom is also Asian, money-obsessed and obsessed with prestige. I was valedictorian, graduated magna from Berkeley and at the top of my class in law but she thinks I’m complete trash b/c I’ve decided I’d rather spent my life doing something actually useful to society like educational technology research rather than helping corporations make rich people richer. All she ever talks about is money. I seriously think she has some kind of bipolar depressive disorder because she’s always angry all the time. She’s been emotionally abusing me since I was born. Its so horrible, I know how you feel, although your mom seems worse, which I didn’t think was humanly possible. I’m so sorry. I’d suggest just moving out, do whatever it takes to get away from mother’s poison and just be your own person. If it is means delaying your education, just get a job and get out of that toxic environment. You’re only alive for so long (77 years is average), don’t waste years of your life being unhappy. Asian parents are the worst, don’t care what anybody says. Its like a whole race of cold, unfeeling, money-obsessed people who pawn their kids off like trophys. I’m so sorry honey. Many *hugs* and hope it all works out for you. You’re taking discrete math so must be a bright girl, just be independent (I know its hard) and your brilliance will help you accomplish all your dreams.

    *hugs* again….

  13. i totally understand this feeling. All my mom care is about money everyone in my family hated her but there totally nothing we could do. I just accidentally took her bag n left it in my brother room and she come out scolding and hitting me saying i was trying to stole her money while not even a sen was gone. now i couldn’t even attend my semi final badminton competition i don’t know why but sometime when i try to understand her she doesn’t seem to be trying to understand me is one damn fucking life

  14. [Comment ID #272486 Will Be Quoted Here]

    oh yea, i am done with college, got a medical degree and still feel like cr*p when i am with her. right now she isnt speaking to me for whatever i did wrong which i cannot even think of. gosh do i want to just scream/die/cry/run away…….

  15. OMG my mom is the worst. She is an ungrateful monster. I work I buy food pay for every bill in the house yet all she does is complain and demand things from me. She doesn’t work but says she does things for herself yet she is only renting out one room and getting less than R1000. She wants to spend all the lobola money that is meant to be used for my wedding. I’m in debt after buying furniture 4da house yet she still treats me as a dog. She doesn’t want to see me happy as she is unhappy herself. She wanted to hurt my father’s brother with a knife this one time. I want to move out as I am unhappy with my 6months old baby.

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