read this email i got today:
“
2003-02-08
Don’t get me wrong, I really love your site and your mb. But coming from a fellow web designer *no, i’m not one of those stupid ones, who get merely any hits, and email you something stupid.* alot of the things you have are alot of help, i’m wondering why you can’t share you devbb hacks, I dont think you understand how helpful that would be to so many people. I dont really understand why you’re keeping them. Also, whats with all these rules you have, I mean especially in the forums.. you have to make sure you don’t post more then 5 things a day? that’s a bit ridiculous.. if I did read so correctly. I just don’t understand. I’m sorry if I came off rude, I guess it just makes me upset. Keep doing a wonderful job, but PLEASE consider the sharing thing, and the not so many rules.
“
I was gonna reply but then I felt it is pointless. it’s better just not letting her know my email address. But really, why does she feel i’m obligated to first of all share my hard work with her FOR FREE just coz it will be helpful to her, and secondly to explain to her all the rules I made for my board thru my years of maintaining it.
right. it’s not necessary. I don’t have to make people understand everything I do. that will take up WAY TOO MUCH TIME. I have better things to do.
Pure-Essence.Net 
Well, from a programmer’s stand point, I don’t share some of the stuff I code because I know I will have to support it, write documentation for it, and I simply don’t have time either. I hardly have time to document the things I script at work.
And then there are people who will write to you telling you your script doesn’t work and it’s horrible, etc. etc. without even thinking how many hours the programmer spend on the program. It makes you just NOT want to give things out for free anymore.
But then, there’s two sides to the coin. Sometimes the simpliest script can make a person so happy and smile. A smile is worth more than any negative comment in the world. And that, I think, is what keeps us scripting.
As for the devbb hacks, I say share what you like. You’re not obligated to share your work. It’s helpful, yes, but people should not expect you give things away because it helps them. If she wanted a hack on her board, she should have approached you another way, like asking for help about making so and so. Or at least make some effort to writing things herself and then ask. People should be willing to learn on their own too.
hm! interesting indeed. It’s funny how many of us say how life isn’t fair, but still don’t accept that fact. Life isn’t fair. Not everything is for free. And people can do what they simply want. hmm.. oh well! 🙂
dodo, have i ever told you how much i luv you? =D teeheee…. ^___^
Share what you want to. You put a lot of time and effort into your hacks, so you certainly shouldn’t be obligated to give away your hard work.
About rules…hmm, without those rules on the board, the board would be in chaos. Those rules help keep the board together 😀
i agree with you daynah. too many people are UNgrateful toward free stuff on the net. i’ve done so much on dnw, and my scripts site… that’s really enough.. i don’t have the time or interest to do any more. and i get nagged for that? it’s just too sad..
aww ecila.. i can feel your love 🙂 you don’t have to say it but it’s still sweet that you do *hehe*
There’s one thing about the whole sharing bit. There are a lot of ignorant people in this world. A lot of those people are willing to learn, and want to. If no one offers anything for them to learn from, how will they learn? In refusing to share knowledge, there are lots of people who are almost encouraging this ignorance. And some gloat over their knowledge.
I don’t think you’re doing this, though, Dodo. First of all, you already have dozens of well written tutorials on your site. Secondly, your reason for not sharing is totally understandable. There are far too many people who aren’t willing to take the time into understanding what you would say, even if you did say it. And it’s usually the same questions over and over again. Anyone who’s ever received questions regarding their website can understand that questions you’d get would be annoying, simple and a waste of your time.
But learning is important. For everyone. So perhaps rather than whining to you, people could learn to do like you did, and teach themselves. But that’s just what I think. I’m gonna stop ranting now. Thanks. Byebye 🙂
hi this is the ‘dumb girl’ that emailed you. I get 1000hits to my webpage a day.. and regardless of that, I SHARE what I make.. because it’s a nice thing to do. You act like since you get alot of visitors, you must make all these rules and you just COULDNT share your hacks.. I guarantee, if you were a small site, with not many hits.. you’d share in a second.. you’d feel privelidged that somone wanted to use YOUR scripts. I really did admire you, in so many ways. But now that I see that you’re extremely.. what should I call it.. oh yeah, STUCK UP. I dont think i’ll be visiting anymore, I mean look how you responded to my email on your site.. just plain Rude dodo..
aww.. I don’t understand how anyone could think that dodo comes across as being rude or stuck up?? I’ve always found her to be the complete opposite of that! Besides, the internet has come to a point where hardly anything is free anymore, and especially with everything Dodo has given already, she is definately not obligated to give out her work for free..
but you know, all I asked was a simple question.. I didn’t mean it to be rude at all.. she could have emailed me and politely gave me a reason for those.I really never thought she’d come across like that, but if you were in my shoes.. you’d see what she said to me as extremely rude.
🙂 no war on my blog. i didn’t even share your address on my blog. if you got the info otherwise.. well it supposed to be private. and i didn’t do anything i consider rude to you but rather i find your email very rude. i believe i have the rights to share personal information; that include emails i get. plus i don’t feel like give polite responses to rude emails. i choose not to respond. maybe we just have very different definitions about “rudeness”. but that’s the world. we are all different. and you need not to make a big deal out of it. and don’t make assumption about me as a person. you don’t even know me period. and you are making all these interpretation of why i’m doing the stuff i do online. those are not very educated guesses i say. since you’ve done so well without me so far, why do you care whether i share my scripts?
btw, i never called you a dumb girl. where ever you got the rumor.. thank that person. i said in my private forum that the way you expected me to do what you said by writing which a (i considered) rude email was dumb. that’s my personal opinion and i didn’t want you to agree. but a dumb act doesn’t necessarily make a dumb person.
either way that’s the last time i will say anything about this on my blog. whether you feel i’m a moron, dumb ass, or nice, smart.. it doesn’t make a difference to me. i’ve been on the net enough to realize it’s pointless to care about your repuntation. i find net enjoyable coz i get to do stuff i want to do and not forced to do it like my homework LOL 🙂
As far as the board goes… there are rules for a reason… I’m the rule nazi as far as the board goes. There are reasons for all the rules on the board. I think the rules make DMB a fun and safe place to post. I don’t think there is one rule that is unfair. Dodo doesn’t need to explain to you why each rule is in place… each were added as the NEED arrose.
I think you, christine, are wrong about her site being popular and thus she doesn’t share. That statment is probably the most rude thing I have read out of all of these posts or even from your email. The fact that she was able to make all these hacks and make her sites memorable is what made her sites popular. She shouldn’t share hacks. If I were her I wouldn’t share half the stuff that she already does. You realize that in the real world these hacks could be worth money. It isn’t like she is some teenager with a personal website. Dodo is in college, getting her degree, and will be a professional one day. The more she keeps to herself the better she can market herself as an potential hire. That’s the real world for you. Not everything can be handed to you. Dodo worked hard for her knowledge of php etc. If you want to learn how do hacks then learn how to write them on your own.
Christine does have a point. Dodo, maybe she came off as being rude, but since the matter is really between you and her, it would have been more polite of you to reply to her first, then blog your thoughts about it. In a way, it’s like the pot calling the kettle black. But, yes, you shouldn’t have to be made to feel like you should share your hard work – especially when no one has done anything to deserve it. Daynah’s right – once you release something, you have to support it, etc. otherwise ppl don’t appreciate it, don’t use it, get frustrated with it… then you’ve wasted your time helping them. -_- Bleh.
Besides, if you share your code, then ppl don’t bother learning the thought-process that goes on behind writing code yourself. That’s the most valuable part unless you plan on being a code-leech all your life. 😉
i was expecting more people i don’t know coming here bashing me… but since the comment is from you, someone i repect, i’d like to reply. miki we have very different believes in many things too since we have a heated debate once. i see this as necessary difference. i see my blog as my personal space.. not much different from my email account. you might not; well then that will make things much different in terms what we think should go in our blogs. i don’t believe in giving out polite responses to rude emails. first that’d give out my email info which i wish to keep private. i don’t need some hater sign me up with 1000 porno. secondly it gives that person more chance of bashing me back. what’s the point? what do i need that? how do i know if i reply with a polite response, i will get a good response back if the first wasn’t even nice?! but the email made me uncomfortable enough that i want to talk about it. so i posted it in my blog. without pointing finger at anybody, but focusing only on the email. most people would probably just keep it to themselves. i posted it and i don’t mind negative comments about my views if they are written in a constructive way. i see my act rather reasonable. again i respect your views on this tho i don’t buy it.
When one sees an email or blog, it’s hard to see the expressions behind what’s written. One can read Christina’s email in a praise or a derogatory way. I read it more like a praise/comment/question. But again, with written comments, it’s tough to tell. At work, I’ve seen many relationships soured because of email wars… many, I think could have been avoided by face contact. Of course, that’s not possible in this situation, but just wanted to give my 2 cents.
maybe i did interpretate the email incorrectly. she might be a very nice person but just writes emails differently than i do. i never intended to start a war tho. i’m sharing thoughts. i’m glad you shared yours.
Dodo, I understand. Your blog is your personal space, and I respect that. But when something like this happens and you blog it, there will be many 3rd-party eyes who read and misunderstand, and it can embarass the writer of the email. There’s nothing wrong with the way you handled this, I just think it could have been handled with more sensitivity to the email writer’s feelings. 🙂 But you were well within your rights and it’s understandable why it frustrates you to get email like this.
Btw, speaking of email, I received your email about song lyrics. Sorry I haven’t replied yet. Been very stressed about stuff atm. 😦
well, I guess you have your rights but sometimes it is just fustrating when you don’t get help from others. I know that you spend lots of hard work over a thing so you sort of don’t like people asking you to help them because that way it will save them lots of time but isn’t it the same when you first started on a new thing?? Where do you learn all the stuff from? It must have been from somebody else or a book etc. I just think that you should share things. It makes you look selfish when you don’t help people. I’ve ever e-mailed people asking them question on how they made a certain graphic etc and they either don’t reply or they say that it took them lots of hard work etc etc and just try it yourself. It’s very fustrating that’s all. Why keep things to yourself?
Not to be rude at all, just stating my opinion.
i wrote christina an email apologize for misunderstanding. tho she might not have received it or refuse to respond. i can’t do much about the first and later is fine with me. about your comment ctine.. helping someone is very different from giving it out in public. if you need help on certain things, you will ask specific questions and i answer them according.. but giving it all out will require MUCH MORE work, if you ever have written a tutorial or released a script, you will know.. and i don’t have time for it. that’s why.
I know im a little late in this topic. But I believe that Dodo has all the right to keep her hacks to herself. She is the one who spend all the time and effort INTO learning how to create the hack. DNW offers a lot of great educational info. She has already given so much to the growing Internet community. I run a site as well. Hell, I can barley find myself wanting to do free things for people anymore because of the way people treat you on the net. When you have a site that gives away free things, nothing is ever enough, there is always going to be someone who isn’t satisfied and wanting to know more. If you really want the hack, why don’t you offer Dodo some cash?? Hell we all need cash! Sites don’t run off themselves. Someone has to pay to keep it running.
As for the Message board, I remember when I first saw the rules. I agree there are a lot of rules and at first I was a little annoyed. But after much thought I realized that the rules are there for a reason. If you cant follow the rules before signing up. How you going to follow them when your apart of that board? It’s a big board with tons of people wanting to sign up daily. If Dodo and her friends didn’t have all the rules, you’d just have a bunch of people joining who don’t really want to post or have anything to do with the community. I believe the rules are in place for people who really want to join and not just make a half ass effort.
And as for your rudeness, the way you start the email implies that you knew there was some rudeness to your email, which is why you had to point out you, weren’t trying to be rude.
Sorry for taking up your time and space. Bleh :