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Scrappy the goat herder

Well now, heard a weird story lately?? Here’s a good one. There is an old hill-billy that comes and picks up the scrap metal from our shop (hence the nickname ‘Scrappy’)and always is doing some weird antics.

First of all let me describe this guy. He is about 65 years old but still in shape from hauling scrap all the time. He wears this same kind of Austrailian outback jungle hat, a sleeveless T-shirt, dirty nasty blue jeans – and the best – he always has this big cigar, but he doesn’t smoke it, he chews it up and and swallows some or spits it out like chewing tobacco.

Anyway, yesterday he comes in and starts telling the owner of the store that his truck, which we serviced a week before, had the lug nuts left off of a wheel and he crashed into the ditch. He gives this whole story, I did not hear most of it, and ended up saying, “you better have insurance to cover this!!” The owner is like trying so hard not to freak out and is trying to make arrangements to look at Scrappy’s truck. Scrappy then says, “oh yeah, I should tell you I’m just bull-shitting.”

The look on the owner’s face was indescribable. You could see in his eyes that he could have killed Scrappy then and there. Not only had Scrappy scared the shit out of him and the technician that worked on his truck, he wasted about 15 minutes of time for each of them, when we had a lot of work to do.

Later on the owner was just cussing that guy up and down and he told a couple of weird stories about him. I guess he likes to have his farm animals come riding around with him and one time he had three ducks come along with him . . .

But the worst is that he brought a baby goat with him one time and took it into the front office. While the goat was standing in front of the guest seats in front of the counter he just took a giant piss right then and there!! He was telling me how the office smelled like sour milk for WEEKS. Ugh.

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